Okay fine chef go!

I love south park. This one my lovelies I shall preach to you. And so Cartman being his usual bitchy, slightly chubby but awfully endearing self, has taken it upon himself to imprison the invading South Park hippies within his basement. I love him. But I also love hippies. I want to be imprisoned in Cartman's basement!! I also want to be Cartman or Kenny too though but thats probably not going to happen either. Right?

So here I am, sat watching South Park, talking to a whole bunch of nothingness and failing to write. I feel like an emo... Oh no! Smite me God! Smite me! Oh where did thee sanity go? Did thee roll off of my bosom and cease to exist? Oh how I wish I were with you... Anyway. Yeh, I wanna be Cartman. But wait people, don't leave, I have some news for you which you may or may not find interesting!

I give up on school. That is until I have to take some more exams. I just don't see the point in boring myself daily and having my beautiful mind crushed into silence. It refuses to be crushed by society! The universe has spoken. And onto more important news than 'School' egh. I have found for the last four years that I have a sixth sense. I esto uno psychic! But no one believes me! But I really am, really. I mean its like I'm just too awesome right now. People should pay me to go to school. Or at least give me a tenner so I can go to WHSmith and buy those stupid books.

Hate is a wasted emotion- thanks mum.

What do you do when the only man in your life is a hypercritical, cynical, two faced glorified asshole and you can't get rid of him, you can't speak your mind and you can't back down because he's your father and you'd hate to show that weakness? My mother died last year and since then the bad side of him- the dark side of his already narcissistic   personality has exploded and now all he does is swing from mood to mood, tantrum to tantrum, drink to fucking drink without any care of who he hurts and what he says because he is my father and he has that right... apparently. I hate him. Honest to God I hate him. But then I love him again because he's my dad and he's all I've got. But he can't see that. All he does is lie endlessly and promise false promises time and time again. We've just 'talked' about that and again he has stuffed his 'father' privileges in my face and shoved the fact that I have no one and that I mean nothing to him back to the surface of my mind. But don't get me wrong- hes always been like this, believe it or not but my mum was going to leave him before she got ill again and surprisingly no matter what shit he says to me, I've never stooped so low as to hurt him forever with that tiny piece of information, I even remember the night she told me. But that's more than I can say for him. I don't know what to do. He tells me to stop acting like a mother when he throws tantrums and argues for no reason at all. He and my little brother. They're both so alike and so predictable, I don't think I've ever had a day in my life when I haven't wished that at least one of them weren't there or even a day where we don't fight. I've started to think its my fault but if it is how come every time he tells me to get out he always calls to tell me to come home. I can't do this. I'm starting college soon and I really can't spend college here in this stupid house. Because if things don't go his way you can count on him grabbing your coursework and ripping it up, or throwing your laptop around and how am I meant to survive college if I have to tip toe around him simply to make sure he's happy? If he really wants me to stop acting like a mother maybe he should grow up a little. I'm not perfect and he certainly isn't no matter how much he seems to think so. Maybe he should have a look at himself before he starts calling someone else names and judging someone he truly doesn't know. Sad isn't it? He doesn't know his own daughter. I can't wait to get away from him. Hes horrid and everyone can see it. Why can't he? Praise to the world's biggest douche bag. Hallelujah. 

Lorna. Happy fucking birthday.

Don't worry I'll leave, and I'll take my little brother. Probably end up living in some cardboard box somewhere though... Okay rant over. Thanks again mum for leaving me here- not that I blame you or anything. Just God. And hospitals. And dad... mostly me but I don't want to sound pathetic. 

Hate on me hater

So no one is commenting... I'm so alone :/ 

I was looking at some other blogger's blogs on here a while ago and realized that my blogs are very very very short compared... teeny tiny particles of well- the average blogger's blog. Blogger's blog.. lol. Well I can't do that much so deal with it.

Anyway my heart has been broken. well not really I'm just unhappy about the situation. NOT NAMING NAMES, one of my 'friends' has asked another certain friend to prom, the 'certain friend' must be the most nicest, backstabbing, boring-st bitch you could ever meet and the 'friend' is... alright... and I sort of like him... a little bit but its not like I want to like him- Goddamn hormones. Well, I couldn't care less that he's got a date but come on!! Why did he have to pick her? Anyone, ANYONE ELSE would have been fine. Well- either me or no one most preferably. But I guess I'll just have to suck it up and get over it. It was just a shock really- I'd convinced myself that he wasn't in that frame of mind when it came to girls, I suppose this just means all men are when it comes down to it.

On a more less negative side I've been trying and failing to write for the past couple of days. Yes failing because I'm too lazy. Instead of working on my actual writing I've been delaying spending my time on here, facebook and stupid fanfic sites... the odd occasion with friends :) Because I'm that kind of geek. I need help- but I'm blaming this on writers block.

Oh God my nan won't shut up!! and now I seem mean but I'm sorry she repeats everything every time she comes over. Sheesh. But because I'm so lovely I just have to sit here and take it. Well- shes repeating this all to my brother right now because I'm "applying for colleges" yeah right. But I do love her, shes quite funny- like the evil partly funny partly senile grandmama I never wan.. well you know how it goes... :) Just kidding I want her. She can control my dad.

Lots of dismal love, Lorna... yeah I'm an awesome poet- deal with it. :)

I have a lover who loves me-

Okay so I don't but come on Weakness in me by Joan Armatrading is an amazing song. Totally love it. I'm quite sure that the people who run TV have somehow gained access to either my Walkman or laptop... they have all my songs in their adverts! And before you sigh and claim that its bound to happen if I listen to crappy shit like Kesha etcetera, well that's not all I listed too! People like Kaki King, Michelle Branch, Alison Sudol and Regina Spektor... Its so unfair! I listened to these people before the stupid television. They should pay me. 

Anyway so what am I supposed to do on here? Just rant about nothingness? Well here it goes... 

Erm, I need a new postie thing. I want a new title. :)

But wait- sat here watching Friends and my friends are right! I am like Phoebe!

Aspiring writers

So wow! what can I say but wow! My first review ever, and okay it was on a fanfic site... and the 'review' was one line long... but yay. I am very proud of myself, even though yes... it was fanfic... Twilight fanfic. :/

"The lady doth protest too much methinks..."

Yeah, I'm also totally psyched to be writing on here... I hope you'll get used to my rants... But I can't do much right now as my brother and dearest daddy are both breathing down my neck... Have they never heard of personal space?! Okay so I'm being dramatic... they're sat across the room from me, still pretty annoying though- why do they have to be in the same room?

Lorna x